Incinerated...

He walked great lengths of the Earth following that trail he knew he shouldn't be following. 

The reason unknown, the motive unclear, he knew that across every thicket, he’d find nothing.

Yet, powered by the only source, he kept walking with nothing in his head to ponder about.

Unlike a grazer gazing at every opportunity, he kept on like a madman and at times like a scout.

He’d questioned himself a zillion times already and he knew well; the answer would never be in reach.

He was many things before he was a trailer or a stalker before this lesson that life was about to teach.

With or without choice, he had decided to follow the feather which forever seemed to float away.

Across the great seas, the rivers, the barren lands or the swamps, never for would him would it stay.

The feather’s destiny was clear, for it swayed through the different terrains to adorn someone’s hat.

It made stops regularly to interact with its fraternity and its likes because never did it stop at that.

He on the other hand, a madman kept surveying its halts to match pace and catch up with it.

Alas! The madman didn't realise the feather was light and he was too heavy with that grit.

Then came a time he saw it everywhere and detachment stared right into his worn out face.

Lost somewhere on the planet, he swore memories to be his whether in time or space.

Even now, the feather interacts with its interests carefree of the past, seeking what was pre-destined.

Incinerated and numb, the madman projected his memories on the air before goodbye he signed!

I hold rights over this picture and you shall be incinerated should you try and steal it!

~~

rohit

###- I know the first line isn't how any post should begin with... But then, that was the intent!

Rapid Amnesia!

Yeaaah!! \m/

I knew I was heading towards it, 'cos my memory that I was proud of once, seemed to slip off my head in bits and pieces.
All this started roughly 3 years ago, which co-incidentally marks the beginning of the 3 rough years!!

I began forgetting names of people. Names of places. - Then it hit a stagnant. Things looked like they're not going to get any worse.

And then came a time when I started forgetting names of friends- which was a little too weird. That was round the same time I decided I wouldn't blog. I did a marathon post. A post every day, until the blog closed.
Playing with words and writing was always(still is to an extent) my forte and something I could be proud of.

Then things happened. I started making mistakes. Simple ones. I could feel the pressure in the head when I'd search for words- something which never ever happened.  Those words would eventually come to me. And then, they stopped!

There were days when I'd pick up the dictionary and stare at it because I know I am looking for a word. But I don't know which letter it starts with.
I know the word's a simple one and I've used it a million times in the past, but I don't know how it sounds any more. It all started getting embarrassing. I could speak fluently and now I'm stuck. Waiting for words to finish one sentence? Wow! I knew it had to be a dream. I wished it would end soon.
Alas! The dream never did end.

Songs I've always heard to, now remain only as tunes. Their lyrics, GONE!


I've always remembered my childhood in TRUE HD. Now, only parts of remain. I know for a fact that I remembered something about something which happened in school, until a month ago. Now- It's gone.


My passwords have always been those that are not easy to break/guess, yet impossible for me to not remember.
'At least I'm doing well in this front', thought a version of me a couple of months ago. Well well, I should've known. That day's here. I access my gmail and couple of other sites every day! And I forgot all the passwords. At once! It's like they're gone!
I forgot my laptop password too. Good thing is I bound my password with the biometrics on the laptop. I only have to swipe my finger across the fingerprint reader and it unlocks my laptop. Good!!


I just made note of all my passwords somewhere. Imagine me forgetting my  phone unlock code or my office stuff or my ATM and Internet banking credentials-- The horror of it.


Sweet Holy Mother of Memory!! - You just abandoned me :D.

Rapid Amnesia- wassup mate? You're not welcome, but you don't really care, do you?!!

Me setting a Sky Lantern free at Jomtien beach. A candle to myself !! :D

~
rohit

The Perfect camouflage

Sitting in the depths of my thoughts, was myself staring into my own eyes in the mirror.

Those cold grizzly eyes played zombie versus vampire, for life to them was filled with horror.

A whiff of damp earth through closed doors reminded him that he was living a lie.

Like the walking dead, he forced himself up to smell nature’s ecstasy served like a pie.

Aha! He thought. What seemed like a century old wait, came presenting itself to him.

The perfect camouflage to rip himself apart, oblivious to all eyes he wept for the victim.

From a bird’s view he looked like he was, at the same time, downing and drowning.

Those dead eyes could tell it was way more than just that. He was incurvating.

Nature’s bountiful showers promised to wash away THE thing. Little did it know it had to fail.

His life was preset. He called quits to his wait and knew that this was the right time to set sail.

The lifeless form did everything to display the lie. It was inconspicuously putting on a ritz.

Only he knew that it was time to morph ‘cos all the conflict inside him was an immortal blitz.

The Perfect camouflage was just the moment he was waiting for, just the right opportunity.

His time’s up here and time starts there.  He knew his struggle will be always be a fight till eternity....

The cave we explored in Srisailam. This one was big enough to walk. In many places, it wasn't big enough to crawl and I was leading with 4 others behind me. If I had to come out, the others had to crawl back. There was no space to even turn around when crawling, we just had to crawl without looking back. Scary, yet felt at home.

If you open this image full-screen, you will find hundreds of tiny bats and their glittering eyes.

~Adios

rohit

The great exit!

Not going to bore you guys with a long, never ending, meaningless one.

The thing is, you can change a process, but you can never change one's thought process.

Processes can drive you nut and so can peoples thought processes.

What if multiple thought processes from multiple sources are the reason for shaping one process?

The process can still be changed, for it's topical. But the thought which shapes the process, stays. On the exterior, it'll look like it has changed too, but the fact remains.

It doesn't. Because it's what shows what people are made of- cunning, lethargy, good, kind, honest, bullshitting, bluffer-- makes that person.

So I've been going through this, right? And since I can only may be change the process and not the thought process, that's as good as a game lost. What's the use if you can't achieve something which serves a greater benefit?

So the great exit begins... 

And the great confusion begins too...

.... in your heads!

Shutting down now.....

And will be a boot failure!

--

rohit

The Boiling Frog!

For long, I've been intrigued by the 'Boiling Frog' theory which states that a frog dies a slow and stupid death when placed in a pot of cold water and then heated till boiling point.

There's been much debate about it and I don't know if it's true, nor do I want to find out the credibility of the theory myself. I'd be causing way too much trauma to that poor thing if I'd put it on my to-do list. Or may be not!?

Any which ways, I love the theory because the creature truly is nature's wonder. They sleep through the winter and their metabolism can slow down to extents that their lungs and hearts stop functioning, but will kick start as soon as winter's off.
Some also estivate through summer and start croaking during the rains. I should have become a herpetologist!
They've learnt to acclimatise. Their physiological adaptation is so fucking good that they can survive the apocalypse! Well, almost!

The title of this post's a metaphor I wish I could relate when talking about myself. This world unnerves me. I unnerve myself. I wish I could croak and sleep through these times. To let my heart stop functioning.. Stop breathing completely. Whether I snap out of the hibernation is immaterial to me.

I wish... Or should I delve into Organic Cryogenics to succeed in my pursuit of a sly escape route?
This will need some dedicated Thinking man time!

He probably was me, then!

--
rohit

Can no longer write?

Half through reading my last blog post, I thought to myself. The post sucks! Whatever happened to the flow of words. Clogged! 

C'est la vie...... let it be.. Well, at least this rhymed....

--

rohit

3- Moonu

I know! I had the same look on my face when I first heard this was a movie's name.
When I then found out that the song 'Why this Kolaveri Di' is a part of this movie, my first reaction was WHAAAAT THE FUCK!!??!!

As we know, the song went on to become a viral sensation across the globe and it was on everyone's lips, hello-tune, ringtone and every freaking cab played it.
In a couple of months all the hoopla about it died. I thought that the movie, like the song would be funky one.

About 6 months ago, I downloaded this movie and it was nothing like the song. I for some reason could relate myself with it very strongly.

 And, that was it. I never watched that movie again until 3 months ago. Since then, I've watched it over a dozen times. May be 20 times too! The storyline is simply awesome. College life romance to marriage to the male lead's death-- Everything was smooth. Not for a minute did I feel bored all these times. Dhanush, I thought was a useless hero, but he changed my opinion of him with this movie. He's not good looking but sure can act. He's Rajnikanth's Son-in-law now, so probably a little talent brushed off! Shruti Hassan as usual looked stunning and did a fine job in the movie. Complete justice to the intense scenes she had to play.

The lyrics in every song in that movie related with me. I'm a Tamilian who can just about do better than 'manage' when it comes to my mother tongue. Yet, I could understand every word in every song in this movie. Without a binding agent, I was instantaneously bound to this movie forever.

These songs play all the time in my head. My playlist on youtube is filled with 4 songs from this movie.

I possibly suffer from bi-polar disorder too in addition to a few more orderly disorders! :)

Here are songs I love the most from this movie-- in no specific order...

-- Nee Partha Vizhigal

-- Kannazhaga

-- Po Nee Po

-- Idhazhin Oram

The two Instrumental tracks also are awesome. Just something about them which bond with me. What? I have no clue.

--Full of Life(Theme Music)

--Rhythm of Love

The complete audio track on Youtube is here-----

The posters might seem a little misleading. Don't rent this movie if you're making your decisions after looking at the posters. This is not a movie for the Home Alone times! It's definitely a family flick.

I'm not sure how long this link will stay alive for.. But here it is.. The entire movie on Youtube, with English Subs.

The film's already at the 41 minute mark on my video player as I'm typing this...


--
rohit

The Carnage

Perhaps one would think I need to F5 my life.
Perhaps I should think my life's F9 already....

Every now, then and then and then, I see BLACK.
Is it the only colour that exists? Is it the only thing that I can relate light and darkness with, at the same time?
May be BLACK is not a colour here. May be it is not a situation. May be it means something.
Could it be a different dimension?
A world which wants me to inhabit it? Perhaps a world unheard of. Unseen of. Will I not know until I take the plunge?


Every now, then and then and then, I hear BOOM BOOM.
Is it the only sound that exists? Is it the only sound I can relate my present and my past with, at the same time?
May be BOOM BOOM is not a sound here. May be it is not an entity that can be calculated. May be it means something too.
Is it the answer to owning BLACK? Could it be the passage to the BLACK?
A passage with wondrous mirrors, all of them with me in them. The only person I can connect with now? All the mirrors aping everything I do. I raise my left hand and the mirror does the same,'cos it knows only to reflect.
BLACK-BOOM BOOM! Is that the answer to the 4th pane? Still unclear, I will never know until I take the plunge.


Every now, then and then and then, I am called a BABA.
Is it the only identification to me that exists? Is it the only thing I can relate my current self with?
May be BABA is not a personality, a trait, a character. May be it's more than just marijuana and a fancy word.
Could it be the absolute truth?
The truth I was supposed to experience and fill myself with, so I don't complain about myself or the world around me? Incineration through thoughts. Or is it more like Spontaneous combustion!!??
Entangled in my own complex web, I help others from their own. Will being me result into frequent poignant reminders of the abyss I've lost myself in?
To the third eye, I appear pent up in my own body. Little would they know that I've spent my so-called geniousity* in discovering the truth.

BLACK BOOM BOOM BABA had to happen. I had to transform. I promulgate this. It's something you must know so none of you fall prey to the vulture that I am!... NOW...


--
rohit

Déjà Vu, Déjà Vued!

Seems like yesterday that I saw a similar day under similar circumstances last calendar year. I could communicate then in bits.

So can I now.
Just differently. Just with myself.

Any which ways, just like I wished then and I will wish later, I wish now that all of the world's luck and success is bestowed upon thee.

Thou shalt not halt. Thou shalt not weep. Thou shalt not look back. Thou shalt take this as a small step in the present, yet a gigantic leap for the future.

WYTB IOHE SUES H###T I#### N#### G####


--
rohit

Silence....

... is something which most people dread.

... can drive weird thoughts into people

... can be the one source of uneasiness.

... probably is as good as solitary confinement

... could also mean a lot of other things.

But you, you must take my silence differently. Times can be difficult. But my silence will always stand by you. To give you a sense of security. Hopefully a reason of additional happiness.

Something that can nurture you. Breathe in the air filled with my silence and live an oxygenated life. See through my silence, the beauty this world has to offer in the living and the non-living.

In brightness and in darkness. In happiness and in sorrow, this silence will stand by to listen to everything and to approve everything correct.

My physiological absence does not mean I am psychologically absent. I am there. Always there to transform into a sword when you are weak and a shield when you are strong. I am to complement. 

You should consciously forget I am around. You should forget I ever existed. But in your subconscious you should trust in this shield. You must wield this sword.

You will prosper. You will grow. You will flower. You will find happiness for real. You will sway to the breeze and you will dance in the rain. Free from all the dirt. Full of everything good.

You are the Fragrance, the best ever. Believe in that and let go of the sniff sniff. Instead, catch hold of your fragrance by doing a whiff whiff..

Nature to its inhabitants. The love visibly absent but undeniably present forever!

--

rohit

Insanius!!

I was counting the number of rotations my ceiling fan was making when appa pushed open my door and asked me if i will have my dinner.

I replied "I am sure I dont want to".

He shut the door and returned after a minute and asked me the same thing.

Slightly irritated, I replied "No appa I've been trying to sleep".

He shut the door and came back again a minute later asking me if I want to eat dosa.

I lost it. I replied--
"Appa my anger is directly proportional to me being irritated".

And this was in a very rude tone and I feel like shit about it.
But now that I am typing this post through my SGSII which might not last this week, I am sating to myself-- that was a line from a genius. Or a super insane guy. Who else would relate two different, yet related scenarios with a word like "directly proportional"??!!

I am Insanius(insan+ius)! Clearly.

Also, I didn't give Sriram my daily attendance. I am running out of patience mate!! Dont I need a long vacation. Like an eternal one? -- Sure deserve one!

Signing off...

--
Insaniusly yours,
rohit

How to?

I cannot. Learn to live with it fella! The unstoppable pounding and the hyperventilation should but be treated as normal.


Je n'arrive pas a t'oublier!


-
rohit

The Krishna Key- BlogAdda Book Review

I'm really not a book kind of a person but I love history, mythology and the unexplainable. This is my first book review and I am glad my first one is 'The Krishna Key'.

Ashwin Sanghi mentions in the last para of the author's note that "the words that flow from mind to matter are merely through me and not from me". There is a lot of humility and wisdom in these words. The Krishna Key gives deep insight into the Mahabharata and the story is woven around this great epic.  One feels a compulsion to continue reading without a pause and there is a lot of information, mystery and a want to know what is going to happen next.  Hindu symbols like the Shiv Lingam, the Swastika, the lotus and not to mention the Syamantaka are given a new dimension.  Though many of us would have read about the destruction of the Somnath temple in school history, one re-realises the richness, heritage and inherent powers of Somnath in this book.

Priya the central character of the novel is a strong and intelligent woman, but there are places where she is shown to be unduly criminal minded and at others where she seems to be weak.  Also the need to kill the main descendants of the Yadava clan should have been made more relevant.  Taarak seems just to obey orders with no mind of his own.  While the major part of the book is absorbing and riveting, the ending is not as racy.

Typos like ‘Saravsati’ instead of ‘Sarasvati’ on page 137 could have been avoided.  Also on page 300 the mention of ‘Vyuha formation’ could have been avoided, as vyuha actually means formation itself! What’s a formation formation?? I’m guessing it should have been some vyuha- Padma-vyuha, Chakra-vyuha, etc.,

Another major mistake saying Priya was taken by a helicopter whereas it should be Radhika (pg 301).

Positives:

-          Great cover design. Captivating and makes you want to feel the design.

-          Good story line. Progressive and gripping- well, almost!

-          11 pages of Reference and Acknowledgements! Now that’s some amazing research work. Great job!

Negatives:

-          To see a book as wonderful as this with typos and interlinking of characters is not a good sign. I would expect better from Ashwin Sanghvi. There’s nothing worse than ruining the story line by mentioning a character who shouldn’t be, per the story’s context.

-          The content makes sure you cannot put the book down, but later, towards the end, it loses its charm and gets a little boring and predictable.

I would rate the book a 9/10 for the design, 7/10 for the writeup and an 8/10 for the story. It is definitely a book you would want to have on list to read and on your bookshelf!

Nothing can take away the reader's interest and attention to the novel which is on the whole a remarkable one and which is sure to become another best seller.

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

--

rohit

The Charred Soul

The charred soul craves for a drop of water.... The charred soul craves to breathe...

The charred soul wants to embrace and stop...

The charred soul wants those eyes forever... The charred soul wants those eyes to be taken care of...
The charred soul wishes for everything good to the bearer of those eyes...

The charred soul wants to crumble and cease to exist...

Can take no more.... Can do no more... Can say no more...

The soul's charred.. the emotions aren't...

Can take no more... Can do no more... Can say no more...



The charred Soul!!

--

rohit

The Garden of Eden

 

Bet t’was what seemed like yet another busy day during spring that year

Under the glowing petals crawled a shiny lady bug, bright, happy and clear

Must have seen a rent-board on the flower so it thought it could unleash its lineage

Must have come there again to relive and not relieve yesterday’s heartbreak

Yesterday was yesterday and it decided it wants to crawl on without a break

Butterflies fluttering their flap-flaps, here, there, everywhere

Esoteric they are, sucking sweetness through their proboscis

Articulate as they are, they look like a crowd rather than a swarm

Reality as usual is a prick ‘cos the story’s different here

That one ugly butterfly knew it’d be alone if it spoke the truth.

It’d be happy in a paradise made of plaster of Paris if it knew how to lie.

But loneliness was its only companion either ways. 

So....

It sang its song of pain and despair, for it was in love with the dandelion

The dandelion was truly, madly, deeply in love with the Butterfly too

They had planned so much, even thought of doing a world trip!!

Two different species and the universe conspired to bring unison

Just like the flip-side of a coin and the dark-side of the moon,

Every conspiracy inflicts pain and results in death and separation

They loved each other but never understood each other.

Love knows no bounds and needs no language said some ageing oaf

Well, no sire, it's always bound and needs two people on the same page

The duo fought most odds, yet, never could understand each other

Time is a dick, never united him and her, let alone fulfilling their plans

The separation gagged the butterfly and killed his true self in time

He was the swift one who could dodge swatters and researchers

Haha!! But he couldn’t dodge love, could he?

His clan wished he returned to where he claimed he was from

But he wanted to challenge what humans called ‘Love kills’

Impervious to emotions, he fell for it

Love thrills but also kills, in THE.......

....GARDEN of EDEN

--

rohit