Sunday, March 18, 2012

My Existence- Metaphysical or Physical?

So I felt this sudden need to test myself, a few hours ago. I wanted to make sure my physical self which’s as inscrutable as my psyche is, was alive and I wasn’t living in a dream or a world where the laws of physics don’t apply. My primordial thought was to punch myself in the face, but after all the beating I subjected the walls at work and home, my knuckles went sore and I didn’t think it was a good idea to punch myself(I’m a rock now. I wouldn’t dare punch myself eh!).

          After a while, a brilliant idea struck me at 3:40 am. I wanted to test myself physically. 10 minutes later, I was in my tracksuit, tying my shoe laces. Walked a kilometre and reached mini-tank bund. The gates were open. I probably was the earliest jogger at that time. The entire place was deserted. The trees threw and damp and eerie feel to the place. I made a dash to the other end and back. I was breathing heavily. Alright! I was breathing—check!
The entrance at 3:50 am

Slamming my fists together whilst abhorring myself, I ran harder. Faster. I reached the end in a few minutes. I could hear loud calls of the Indian jungle Fowls. My receding cognition told me I could hear – check!!
The Lake... or whatever's left of it.

When I raced back to the entry gate, I could feel a sharp stinging sensation. My calves craved for rest. They knew I haven’t run this much in months! I’d been living a lethargic, emotionally fulfilled life, an entire quarter.  In what seemed like comfort, I deferred physical fitness; the result, my calves pulsating with pain... Well, purpose solved.. I can feel physical pain—Check!
I have no clue what flowers these were, but the smell was over-whelming :)

          I sat down on the grass and there entered the first jogger at 4:30. Walking seemed like a task.  If he were his own boss, I bet he’d be pay himself to just walk! On a more serious note he didn’t seem like someone who’s been deferring physical fitness. I loathed myself, got up and walked back home. Didn’t feel like summer to me. The early sun-rise wasn’t early until 5:20. So, I can see.. 

An unclear picture of an ICICI ATM when I was 'on the run'(from myself).

Relispray, here I come!! What a loser!