Friday, April 20, 2012

I am my own wall...

And I have always been one. Constantly bumping into myself, hurting myself and others in the process; sometimes it's collateral..
I will soon be a quarter century old in human years. For the first time in eons, I don't want to call myself an alien. I'm just as vulnerable as the human race pathetically is. I've begun accepting this as the end of an era. The end of the Blue Blood.. The mystical beam will never come to relieve me. And I am being stopped by forces can overpower me. Forces I've held close to me..

Just like there never is a gold pot at the end of rainbow, I can never be what people want me to be and what I want to be.. The gold pot is there.. always there.. in fairy tales, goodnight stories. So is my truth!

Challenge accepted and accomplished, though not during course of the right circumstances and will;
Zombies live! Man can go without food and sleep. You smile, help, be helpless, beat yourself, put yourself together and break at the same time(Multi-tasking unleashed!!).
Faces to a crystal one will never find. Content with its solitary self at the bottom of the ocean bed. 
I have no clue what I am typing. But I will, because I cannot tomorrow and day after and the day after that. 

I wrote a post titled 'Yes Man!! \m/' , a year and 6 days ago. Back then, I was someone who thought "an year" is the right way and "a year" is incorrect. I changed it and have been changing constantly ever since! Such a contrast between a year and an year!!
Any which ways, I committed myself into completing a few things like -----

a) Learn the guitar. Yes yes! --- I never did !! A failure...

b) Work out to see a 6 pack on my abdomen at least for a few days! I’ve been intrigued what it is about and how it feels. Will will! :D --- Well, not a failure here.. This I did. and did keep it for a few weeks. A month I think. It then was a 4 pack, and I now have what people call it as a 'family pack' in Tollywood!

c) Cut myself free from all the social networking ties for a couple of months again! --- Sure!! Did it. Doing it again. This time for good, I hope :)

d) Hit speeds in excess of 150kmph on Indian roads on a 2-wheeler. And no accidents this year—hopefully! :P --- Owned this one :). 169 kmph on a fireblade. Hardly maintained the speed for over 4 seconds though... We have brilliant roads in India. I valued my life back then.

e) Surpass my typing speed of 96wpm. --- 112 wpm last month...

f) Attend more treks, expeditions and adventure outings. This time, with professionals! --- Yes. Treks, expeditions and adventure outings. Just two with professionals. The rest with super professionals; my friends...

g) Buy a DSLR! --- I don't think I will, though I had planned to buy one on the 21st this month :)..

 All these were pre-determined. I did something this year I never thought I would. I did it without being conscious about doing it. Definitely tops the memorable moments of my life. It fills all the empty gaps on this post and in my life... My purpose is served. I feel I have overstayed your planet's hospitality now :)... But the nasty and selfish ones prevail. So don't be surprised to see me type another post next year. I can cheat!! And how!!!!

I'm not going to commit myself to anything for a year from today. 
I just realised I only have 9000 odd visits on my blog!! That's so fucking puny. Doesn't matter anymore because the purpose of this blog is to only let a part of me available to you, the outside world. The reason it exists, is for me. To sting me, to bring a smile, to remind me of good, bad, the past, the future, the present. The shadows, the sound of crumbling dry leaves beneath my feet, the smell of fresh air, the fear of losing someone, the fear of losing myself, humanity, emotions, days of online addiction, days of pure boredom and so much more... It is way beyond what you can comprehend and way more than what I can sum up here... 

Dear reader, don't take the pains of understanding this post. You cannot unless you understand me!!