Sunday, November 18, 2012

The Boiling Frog!

For long, I've been intrigued by the 'Boiling Frog' theory which states that a frog dies a slow and stupid death when placed in a pot of cold water and then heated till boiling point.

There's been much debate about it and I don't know if it's true, nor do I want to find out the credibility of the theory myself. I'd be causing way too much trauma to that poor thing if I'd put it on my to-do list. Or may be not!?

Any which ways, I love the theory because the creature truly is nature's wonder. They sleep through the winter and their metabolism can slow down to extents that their lungs and hearts stop functioning, but will kick start as soon as winter's off.
Some also estivate through summer and start croaking during the rains. I should have become a herpetologist!
They've learnt to acclimatise. Their physiological adaptation is so fucking good that they can survive the apocalypse! Well, almost!

The title of this post's a metaphor I wish I could relate when talking about myself. This world unnerves me. I unnerve myself. I wish I could croak and sleep through these times. To let my heart stop functioning.. Stop breathing completely. Whether I snap out of the hibernation is immaterial to me.

I wish... Or should I delve into Organic Cryogenics to succeed in my pursuit of a sly escape route?
This will need some dedicated Thinking man time!
He probably was me, then!


Thursday, November 8, 2012

Can no longer write?

Half through reading my last blog post, I thought to myself. The post sucks! Whatever happened to the flow of words. Clogged! 

C'est la vie...... let it be.. Well, at least this rhymed....


3- Moonu

I know! I had the same look on my face when I first heard this was a movie's name.
When I then found out that the song 'Why this Kolaveri Di' is a part of this movie, my first reaction was WHAAAAT THE FUCK!!??!!

As we know, the song went on to become a viral sensation across the globe and it was on everyone's lips, hello-tune, ringtone and every freaking cab played it.
In a couple of months all the hoopla about it died. I thought that the movie, like the song would be funky one.

About 6 months ago, I downloaded this movie and it was nothing like the song. I for some reason could relate myself with it very strongly.

 And, that was it. I never watched that movie again until 3 months ago. Since then, I've watched it over a dozen times. May be 20 times too! The storyline is simply awesome. College life romance to marriage to the male lead's death-- Everything was smooth. Not for a minute did I feel bored all these times. Dhanush, I thought was a useless hero, but he changed my opinion of him with this movie. He's not good looking but sure can act. He's Rajnikanth's Son-in-law now, so probably a little talent brushed off! Shruti Hassan as usual looked stunning and did a fine job in the movie. Complete justice to the intense scenes she had to play.

The lyrics in every song in that movie related with me. I'm a Tamilian who can just about do better than 'manage' when it comes to my mother tongue. Yet, I could understand every word in every song in this movie. Without a binding agent, I was instantaneously bound to this movie forever.

These songs play all the time in my head. My playlist on youtube is filled with 4 songs from this movie.

I possibly suffer from bi-polar disorder too in addition to a few more orderly disorders! :)

Here are songs I love the most from this movie-- in no specific order...

-- Nee Partha Vizhigal

-- Kannazhaga

-- Po Nee Po

-- Idhazhin Oram

The two Instrumental tracks also are awesome. Just something about them which bond with me. What? I have no clue.

--Full of Life(Theme Music)

--Rhythm of Love

The complete audio track on Youtube is here-----

The posters might seem a little misleading. Don't rent this movie if you're making your decisions after looking at the posters. This is not a movie for the Home Alone times! It's definitely a family flick.

I'm not sure how long this link will stay alive for.. But here it is.. The entire movie on Youtube, with English Subs.

The film's already at the 41 minute mark on my video player as I'm typing this...


Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Carnage

Perhaps one would think I need to F5 my life.
Perhaps I should think my life's F9 already....

Every now, then and then and then, I see BLACK.
Is it the only colour that exists? Is it the only thing that I can relate light and darkness with, at the same time?
May be BLACK is not a colour here. May be it is not a situation. May be it means something.
Could it be a different dimension?
A world which wants me to inhabit it? Perhaps a world unheard of. Unseen of. Will I not know until I take the plunge?

Every now, then and then and then, I hear BOOM BOOM.
Is it the only sound that exists? Is it the only sound I can relate my present and my past with, at the same time?
May be BOOM BOOM is not a sound here. May be it is not an entity that can be calculated. May be it means something too.
Is it the answer to owning BLACK? Could it be the passage to the BLACK?
A passage with wondrous mirrors, all of them with me in them. The only person I can connect with now? All the mirrors aping everything I do. I raise my left hand and the mirror does the same,'cos it knows only to reflect.
BLACK-BOOM BOOM! Is that the answer to the 4th pane? Still unclear, I will never know until I take the plunge.

Every now, then and then and then, I am called a BABA.
Is it the only identification to me that exists? Is it the only thing I can relate my current self with?
May be BABA is not a personality, a trait, a character. May be it's more than just marijuana and a fancy word.
Could it be the absolute truth?
The truth I was supposed to experience and fill myself with, so I don't complain about myself or the world around me? Incineration through thoughts. Or is it more like Spontaneous combustion!!??
Entangled in my own complex web, I help others from their own. Will being me result into frequent poignant reminders of the abyss I've lost myself in?
To the third eye, I appear pent up in my own body. Little would they know that I've spent my so-called geniousity* in discovering the truth.

BLACK BOOM BOOM BABA had to happen. I had to transform. I promulgate this. It's something you must know so none of you fall prey to the vulture that I am!... NOW...


Thursday, November 1, 2012

Déjà Vu, Déjà Vued!

Seems like yesterday that I saw a similar day under similar circumstances last calendar year. I could communicate then in bits.

So can I now.
Just differently. Just with myself.

Any which ways, just like I wished then and I will wish later, I wish now that all of the world's luck and success is bestowed upon thee.

Thou shalt not halt. Thou shalt not weep. Thou shalt not look back. Thou shalt take this as a small step in the present, yet a gigantic leap for the future.

WYTB IOHE SUES H###T I#### N#### G####


Wednesday, October 17, 2012


... is something which most people dread.
... can drive weird thoughts into people
... can be the one source of uneasiness.

... probably is as good as solitary confinement
... could also mean a lot of other things.

But you, you must take my silence differently. Times can be difficult. But my silence will always stand by you. To give you a sense of security. Hopefully a reason of additional happiness.

Something that can nurture you. Breathe in the air filled with my silence and live an oxygenated life. See through my silence, the beauty this world has to offer in the living and the non-living.
In brightness and in darkness. In happiness and in sorrow, this silence will stand by to listen to everything and to approve everything correct.

My physiological absence does not mean I am psychologically absent. I am there. Always there to transform into a sword when you are weak and a shield when you are strong. I am to complement. 
You should consciously forget I am around. You should forget I ever existed. But in your subconscious you should trust in this shield. You must wield this sword.

You will prosper. You will grow. You will flower. You will find happiness for real. You will sway to the breeze and you will dance in the rain. Free from all the dirt. Full of everything good.

You are the Fragrance, the best ever. Believe in that and let go of the sniff sniff. Instead, catch hold of your fragrance by doing a whiff whiff..

Nature to its inhabitants. The love visibly absent but undeniably present forever!


Monday, October 15, 2012


I was counting the number of rotations my ceiling fan was making when appa pushed open my door and asked me if i will have my dinner.

I replied "I am sure I dont want to".

He shut the door and returned after a minute and asked me the same thing.

Slightly irritated, I replied "No appa I've been trying to sleep".

He shut the door and came back again a minute later asking me if I want to eat dosa.

I lost it. I replied--
"Appa my anger is directly proportional to me being irritated".

And this was in a very rude tone and I feel like shit about it.
But now that I am typing this post through my SGSII which might not last this week, I am sating to myself-- that was a line from a genius. Or a super insane guy. Who else would relate two different, yet related scenarios with a word like "directly proportional"??!!

I am Insanius(insan+ius)! Clearly.

Also, I didn't give Sriram my daily attendance. I am running out of patience mate!! Dont I need a long vacation. Like an eternal one? -- Sure deserve one!

Signing off...

Insaniusly yours,

How to?

I cannot. Learn to live with it fella! The unstoppable pounding and the hyperventilation should but be treated as normal.

Je n'arrive pas a t'oublier!


Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Krishna Key- BlogAdda Book Review

I'm really not a book kind of a person but I love history, mythology and the unexplainable. This is my first book review and I am glad my first one is 'The Krishna Key'.

Ashwin Sanghi mentions in the last para of the author's note that "the words that flow from mind to matter are merely through me and not from me". There is a lot of humility and wisdom in these words. The Krishna Key gives deep insight into the Mahabharata and the story is woven around this great epic.  One feels a compulsion to continue reading without a pause and there is a lot of information, mystery and a want to know what is going to happen next.  Hindu symbols like the Shiv Lingam, the Swastika, the lotus and not to mention the Syamantaka are given a new dimension.  Though many of us would have read about the destruction of the Somnath temple in school history, one re-realises the richness, heritage and inherent powers of Somnath in this book.

Priya the central character of the novel is a strong and intelligent woman, but there are places where she is shown to be unduly criminal minded and at others where she seems to be weak.  Also the need to kill the main descendants of the Yadava clan should have been made more relevant.  Taarak seems just to obey orders with no mind of his own.  While the major part of the book is absorbing and riveting, the ending is not as racy.

Typos like ‘Saravsati’ instead of ‘Sarasvati’ on page 137 could have been avoided.  Also on page 300 the mention of ‘Vyuha formation’ could have been avoided, as vyuha actually means formation itself! What’s a formation formation?? I’m guessing it should have been some vyuha- Padma-vyuha, Chakra-vyuha, etc.,
Another major mistake saying Priya was taken by a helicopter whereas it should be Radhika (pg 301).

-          Great cover design. Captivating and makes you want to feel the design.
-          Good story line. Progressive and gripping- well, almost!
-          11 pages of Reference and Acknowledgements! Now that’s some amazing research work. Great job!

-          To see a book as wonderful as this with typos and interlinking of characters is not a good sign. I would expect better from Ashwin Sanghvi. There’s nothing worse than ruining the story line by mentioning a character who shouldn’t be, per the story’s context.
-          The content makes sure you cannot put the book down, but later, towards the end, it loses its charm and gets a little boring and predictable.

I would rate the book a 9/10 for the design, 7/10 for the writeup and an 8/10 for the story. It is definitely a book you would want to have on list to read and on your bookshelf!

Nothing can take away the reader's interest and attention to the novel which is on the whole a remarkable one and which is sure to become another best seller.

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at Participate now to get free books!


Monday, August 6, 2012

The Charred Soul

The charred soul craves for a drop of water.... The charred soul craves to breathe...
The charred soul wants to embrace and stop...

The charred soul wants those eyes forever... The charred soul wants those eyes to be taken care of...
The charred soul wishes for everything good to the bearer of those eyes...

The charred soul wants to crumble and cease to exist...
Can take no more.... Can do no more... Can say no more...

The soul's charred.. the emotions aren't...
Can take no more... Can do no more... Can say no more...

The charred Soul!!


Monday, May 28, 2012

The Garden of Eden

Bet t’was what seemed like yet another busy day during spring that year
Under the glowing petals crawled a shiny lady bug, bright, happy and clear
Must have seen a rent-board on the flower so it thought it could unleash its lineage
Must have come there again to relive and not relieve yesterday’s heartbreak
Yesterday was yesterday and it decided it wants to crawl on without a break

Butterflies fluttering their flap-flaps, here, there, everywhere
Esoteric they are, sucking sweetness through their proboscis
Articulate as they are, they look like a crowd rather than a swarm
Reality as usual is a prick ‘cos the story’s different here

That one ugly butterfly knew it’d be alone if it spoke the truth.
It’d be happy in a paradise made of plaster of Paris if it knew how to lie.
But loneliness was its only companion either ways. 


It sang its song of pain and despair, for it was in love with the dandelion
The dandelion was truly, madly, deeply in love with the Butterfly too
They had planned so much, even thought of doing a world trip!!

Two different species and the universe conspired to bring unison
Just like the flip-side of a coin and the dark-side of the moon,
Every conspiracy inflicts pain and results in death and separation
They loved each other but never understood each other.

Love knows no bounds and needs no language said some ageing oaf
Well, no sire, it's always bound and needs two people on the same page
The duo fought most odds, yet, never could understand each other

Time is a dick, never united him and her, let alone fulfilling their plans
The separation gagged the butterfly and killed his true self in time
He was the swift one who could dodge swatters and researchers
Haha!! But he couldn’t dodge love, could he?

His clan wished he returned to where he claimed he was from
But he wanted to challenge what humans called ‘Love kills’
Impervious to emotions, he fell for it
Love thrills but also kills, in THE.......



Thursday, May 24, 2012

Fevi-fscking Kwik!

So I was sitting, doing nothing, with Vaktun playing loud on my headset. I could hear a tuk-tuk-tuk sound on the background though the volume in the headset was blaring!
I took the headset off and started looking around. Turned out that water was dripping off the air-conditioner in my room. It was dripping on my office bag and sort of created a pool of freezing cold water on my bed.
"Fuck!", I exclaimed and checked the laptop, water was all over it, but it still was running. Good.

Now, how the fuck does water drip off an AC? I went out, had a look at the unit placed outside and the outlet pipe was fine. Drops of water were dripping off it, just like it should.
I climbed onto my bed and opened the front panel of the AC. A curved part just above the blower vents, served like a container and was filled with water. Water, from Aliens-know-where was dripping into it; overflowed and then found its way through the vents and tuk-tuk-tuk'ing on my bed.
Screw Valhalla!!

I made a dash into the kitchen, brought a vessel and a pipe. One end of the pipe into the AC and the other in my mouth. Nostalgia kicked in!
Days when I'd suck water off one bucket of water and would let it flow into another. Employed the same, just that a lot of dust made its way into my mouth. About a litre of super cold water came through. All good now.

I noticed that the AC filters were full of dust, hair and it practically couldn't filter anymore. I took the filters off and cleaned them. Went to put them back into place, but one filter split on its side. It had to be firm so I had to fix it.

That is where it split.

Fevi Kwik to the rescue!! So I wiped that part of the filter dry and applied that son of a gun to it. I was aligning the beam together but it bounced back. That, coupled with some terrific co-incidence and nature's plot of blinding me, helped a drop of Fevi Kwik into my left eye. Fucked up! I thought I'd now have to live a Pirate's life.
Took a glass of water and the next thing I saw was the bottom of the glass through water. My eye became numb.
Eye felt better, but it still was uncomfortable. Did the glue cause an abrasion on my cornea??? Asked my mirror "Mirror mirror on the wall, do you think I'll be blind?". It replied "No!!".

Still feel a little uncomfortable but have been through this feeling previously. Nothing when compared to other feelings I reckoned.

Game over.


Edit: My English's fucked up. I haven't edited one post these many times ever!

Monday, May 21, 2012

I still cannot be understood and never will be!!

My writer's block sets into me forever now :).. I don't have anything to write except for the title!!


Friday, April 20, 2012

I am my own wall...

And I have always been one. Constantly bumping into myself, hurting myself and others in the process; sometimes it's collateral..
I will soon be a quarter century old in human years. For the first time in eons, I don't want to call myself an alien. I'm just as vulnerable as the human race pathetically is. I've begun accepting this as the end of an era. The end of the Blue Blood.. The mystical beam will never come to relieve me. And I am being stopped by forces can overpower me. Forces I've held close to me..

Just like there never is a gold pot at the end of rainbow, I can never be what people want me to be and what I want to be.. The gold pot is there.. always there.. in fairy tales, goodnight stories. So is my truth!

Challenge accepted and accomplished, though not during course of the right circumstances and will;
Zombies live! Man can go without food and sleep. You smile, help, be helpless, beat yourself, put yourself together and break at the same time(Multi-tasking unleashed!!).
Faces to a crystal one will never find. Content with its solitary self at the bottom of the ocean bed. 
I have no clue what I am typing. But I will, because I cannot tomorrow and day after and the day after that. 

I wrote a post titled 'Yes Man!! \m/' , a year and 6 days ago. Back then, I was someone who thought "an year" is the right way and "a year" is incorrect. I changed it and have been changing constantly ever since! Such a contrast between a year and an year!!
Any which ways, I committed myself into completing a few things like -----

a) Learn the guitar. Yes yes! --- I never did !! A failure...

b) Work out to see a 6 pack on my abdomen at least for a few days! I’ve been intrigued what it is about and how it feels. Will will! :D --- Well, not a failure here.. This I did. and did keep it for a few weeks. A month I think. It then was a 4 pack, and I now have what people call it as a 'family pack' in Tollywood!

c) Cut myself free from all the social networking ties for a couple of months again! --- Sure!! Did it. Doing it again. This time for good, I hope :)

d) Hit speeds in excess of 150kmph on Indian roads on a 2-wheeler. And no accidents this year—hopefully! :P --- Owned this one :). 169 kmph on a fireblade. Hardly maintained the speed for over 4 seconds though... We have brilliant roads in India. I valued my life back then.

e) Surpass my typing speed of 96wpm. --- 112 wpm last month...

f) Attend more treks, expeditions and adventure outings. This time, with professionals! --- Yes. Treks, expeditions and adventure outings. Just two with professionals. The rest with super professionals; my friends...

g) Buy a DSLR! --- I don't think I will, though I had planned to buy one on the 21st this month :)..

 All these were pre-determined. I did something this year I never thought I would. I did it without being conscious about doing it. Definitely tops the memorable moments of my life. It fills all the empty gaps on this post and in my life... My purpose is served. I feel I have overstayed your planet's hospitality now :)... But the nasty and selfish ones prevail. So don't be surprised to see me type another post next year. I can cheat!! And how!!!!

I'm not going to commit myself to anything for a year from today. 
I just realised I only have 9000 odd visits on my blog!! That's so fucking puny. Doesn't matter anymore because the purpose of this blog is to only let a part of me available to you, the outside world. The reason it exists, is for me. To sting me, to bring a smile, to remind me of good, bad, the past, the future, the present. The shadows, the sound of crumbling dry leaves beneath my feet, the smell of fresh air, the fear of losing someone, the fear of losing myself, humanity, emotions, days of online addiction, days of pure boredom and so much more... It is way beyond what you can comprehend and way more than what I can sum up here... 

Dear reader, don't take the pains of understanding this post. You cannot unless you understand me!!


Sunday, March 18, 2012

My Existence- Metaphysical or Physical?

So I felt this sudden need to test myself, a few hours ago. I wanted to make sure my physical self which’s as inscrutable as my psyche is, was alive and I wasn’t living in a dream or a world where the laws of physics don’t apply. My primordial thought was to punch myself in the face, but after all the beating I subjected the walls at work and home, my knuckles went sore and I didn’t think it was a good idea to punch myself(I’m a rock now. I wouldn’t dare punch myself eh!).

          After a while, a brilliant idea struck me at 3:40 am. I wanted to test myself physically. 10 minutes later, I was in my tracksuit, tying my shoe laces. Walked a kilometre and reached mini-tank bund. The gates were open. I probably was the earliest jogger at that time. The entire place was deserted. The trees threw and damp and eerie feel to the place. I made a dash to the other end and back. I was breathing heavily. Alright! I was breathing—check!
The entrance at 3:50 am

Slamming my fists together whilst abhorring myself, I ran harder. Faster. I reached the end in a few minutes. I could hear loud calls of the Indian jungle Fowls. My receding cognition told me I could hear – check!!
The Lake... or whatever's left of it.

When I raced back to the entry gate, I could feel a sharp stinging sensation. My calves craved for rest. They knew I haven’t run this much in months! I’d been living a lethargic, emotionally fulfilled life, an entire quarter.  In what seemed like comfort, I deferred physical fitness; the result, my calves pulsating with pain... Well, purpose solved.. I can feel physical pain—Check!
I have no clue what flowers these were, but the smell was over-whelming :)

          I sat down on the grass and there entered the first jogger at 4:30. Walking seemed like a task.  If he were his own boss, I bet he’d be pay himself to just walk! On a more serious note he didn’t seem like someone who’s been deferring physical fitness. I loathed myself, got up and walked back home. Didn’t feel like summer to me. The early sun-rise wasn’t early until 5:20. So, I can see.. 

An unclear picture of an ICICI ATM when I was 'on the run'(from myself).

Relispray, here I come!! What a loser!