Saturday, September 4, 2010

Member of Parliaments 300% richer legally!!

Rich, Richer, Richerer, Richererer............. and never the Richest.

This is what seems to be the spate of India’s politicians. The country’s servants demanded a hike for the “EXCEPTIONAL” work they are doing and reportedly, their current salaries are not good enough.

When I talk about the hike they’ve asked for, you probably think it’s just like other organisations and sectors- A hike of 30, 40, 50 or 80%. If that’s what you guessed, prepare yourselves for a rude shock. The ever faithful and honest MPs have asked for a whopping 300% hike and well, it’s been agreed upon.

Statistics quote that 315 of the 543 MPs in the Lok Sabha are Crorepatis and the average asset of these crorepatis is Rs. 5.33 Crore. The MPs in the Rajya Sabha are a little POORER but definitely show the determination for the betterment of themselves. They promise they’ll catch up soon. Watch out Lok Sabha folks.. You have to work harder!!

For readers who aren’t Indians and have trouble understanding or calculating how much a Crore is, let me help you. 1 Crore= 10 million.

When the Cabinet approved the hike to 80,000 INR per month to these MPs, several non BJP opposition members did what was expected of them. Show dissatisfaction at the hike, though it was a mammoth hike of 300% from their then salary of 16,000 INR as basic per month. They STILL felt it wasn’t adequate.

They wanted the hike to be at-least 80,001 INR, a Rupee more than The Secretary to The Government.

One Mr. Bansal was heard saying, "We should not compare pension of MPs with government servants as they serve for 30-odd years. Whereas MPs have a term of one-two years or maximum five years."

Wow!! Shows where their betterment plans are inclined to. Not the people but themselves. Fill your pockets and your mouths with green paper..

Phew! That’s some money huh? I want to become an MP too. And I actually did some research on and off the internet. I was thinking it’d be hell of a task to become one and surprisingly, it isn’t. Anyone can become an MP :-D!! You want to become one too? Well, read on then...

If you are an MP and you’re reading this, STOP right here because you know it all and have done it all!

Ah my friends and readers—I was talking about the requirements of becoming a Multi Paisawala. Is that the non-abbreviated form of “MP”?? I just Googled! It stands for “Member of Parliament” .. haha lol:P. Oops, I think I am straying off topic :-s...

I am going to ask you twenty two questions and at the end of this, you’ll be able to assess if you’re suitable for the role of an MP.

Twelve requirements to become an MP-->

1. You have to be a 10th class drop out. Graduates are also selected at times, only if they prove to be exceptional.

2. You have to have some contacts with the local goons and you have to show promise in building stronger and better contacts of the same class.

3. You should not be convicted in any criminal case for a period of more than 2 years.

4. You have to be very transparent with the people of the country when speaking. Speak like yourself. Like you always lie and without remorse.

5. You should be able to make newer better promises which will never be fulfilled.

6. You have to be creative with your thoughts about new plans and projects which you think will help the betterment of the country and make sure the budget for the project is no more than half of what goes into your pocket.

7. You should be prepared to open a Swiss Bank account soon after you become an MP.

8. You have to be MENTALLY sound. (Make sure you stress on ‘Mentally’. It’s very important!)

9. You should not be Bankrupt! (Verryyy Important I say!)

10. You should be able to project a Leader in you when you interact with the common man.(Psst-- Remember promises and lies!)

11. You have to have an un-breakable determination and grit towards the betterment, charity and good. For yourselves.

12. You have to be an Indian Citizen. (This has to be the easiest one!)

Atleast 10 out of 12 requirements have to be fulfilled. You can actually ignore the last one by bribing.

Valid rules aren’t a part of the requirements.

The Process you need to follow after you’ve met the requirements-->

· Contact the Election Commission of India and fill the application form.

· If you plan on joining a political party, get ready to shell out SOME money or you can also file the application as an Independent candidates, for which your popularity and integrity are considered.

· Find 10 people as nominees and that’s it! Congratulations Mr/Ms/Mrs . MP

Oh and do I have to tell you that it’ll take a toll on your pocket initially? Soon, your pockets will have holes which end up in different bank vaults. Prosperity unlimited yo!

If you have a neighbour who’s an MPs friend or better, an MP itself, you should befriend them SOON!

My respect for them has multiplied just as much as their hike is. Long Live Indian Political System :-|

Sources-- My Opinions and views majorly, Wikipedia and Yahoo Answers.


A Promising Member of Parliament,



Me said...

Woah!! that's bad :-(

Raghu said...

Awesome discrption man.. U really should write a book now..

Mohammed Ibrahim (Admin) said...

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RoHiT Iyer said...

@ JBL--> Yeah that's bad. Finally! The mystery person behind that "ME" is no more a mystery :P
@ Raghu--> Lol.. thanks man :P.. I can't write a book :D..
@ Mohammed-->thanks.

Anonymous said...

Good evening

Awesome post, just want to say thanks for the share

Anonymous said...

Wow all I can say is that you are a great writer! Where can I contact you if I want to hire you?

RoHiT Iyer said...

@ Anonymous(1)-- Thanks :)

@ Anonymous(2)-- Thanks.. you can contact me on my email--

Anonymous said...

Hi there

Thanks for writing this blog, loved reading it

Anonymous said...

Astonishing style. I wish I could write that way.
Tapety na pulpit

RoHiT Iyer said...

@ anonymous 3--> Thank you :)

@ Anonymous 4--> You will.. Just keep writing.. thank you :)